It's been a while

The laptop has been a stranger to me these past couple of weeks. Up until yesterday afternoon, I'd been internet-less and busy preparing for my interview at Lasalle. I left a lot of my portfolio to the last minute and  ended up pulling an all-nighter before deciding I should catch a bit of sleep from 8 to 11 in the morning, right before the interview. Thank god for my frayed nerves and the butterflies and the adrenaline running through my blood for they kept me more awake than I had even hoped to be for the audition.

The interview was... okay I guess. It was a group interview and we each had to present one piece from our portfolio. I chose my pencil & watercolour portrait of my mother. It's not a real-life representation of her features. More symbolic, and focusing on her state of mind. Or my impression of her state of mind, rather. It was based off this painting I did when I was around nine or ten. The 'then' painting was very positive. I portrayed my mother as something of a warrior woman who fought her bipolar disorder with courage and determination and recovered from her episodes with grace and optimism. She had long colourful hair that was her craziness that was thrown back with the wind. She was free. The 'now' painting has her hair, still multi-coloured, wrapped tight around her throat and shoulders and chest. I suppose it was me feeling like she has fallen too deep and is now trapped and has been trapped in a high that has lasted since last year. I would post a picture but I have no camera and the webcam is too grainy and makes the colours dull.

I wish I was this clear in my explanation yesterday. But I wasn't, because I freaking cried while trying to present this piece. Yeah I don't even know!!! I honestly didn't expect that. I felt so stupid and weak after, but I also realised that this whole mother issue has cut really deep lately. I kept hearing her words too. Words spoken under the influence of mania. "It's actually a good thing that I'm high, don't you see? All of this will be rich fodder for your artwork!" I felt like slapping her when she said that. But there is truth to it.

Anyway, after all that drama, and after the creativity discussion (I was a bit too quiet), they told us if we'd gotten in or not, and well,

So yup!

I think I am taking this over TP's Visual Communications. Idk. Dilemma!!! But most probably Lasalle. Since I worked to get through the interview and all and have been aiming for this and the journey to school would be less stressful....... K bye internal monologue debate thing time.