All the build-up to the start of school, of my next phase of life in Lasalle and I let this space go to rot just as that finally happened. I don't know if anyone's even interested anymore, but school so far has been more than I could ask for. I am happy where I am. I feel comfortable, like I truly belong, and I think I can say that this is a genuinely new feeling for me. I like the people I have met and become friends with, I don't have anything bad to say about my lecturers, and the things I am learning are actually interesting to me. The workload though, is quite a strain. The actual work we are assigned isn't bad. The only thing that makes it all so stressful is the lack of time/my lack of time management, and I am wearing myself thin trying to keep up with everything.
My days have been passing by so quickly they sometimes blur into each other. I have a lot of trouble remembering what I was doing 24 hours ago. I talk about where I went 'that day' when I mean 'yesterday'. I am uncomfortable every time Friday comes knocking. It feels more like an unwelcome visitor than my saviour nowadays, because the end of the week just means that the next cycle is beginning in a couple of days. I still make it a point to enjoy my Friday nights though - the past few have been pretty wonderful, only they now leave me with dreadful bouts of guilt and regret for not spending that time doing work. Honestly, I'm pretty sure the guilt wouldn't be as bad if I was being a hard-working, dedicated, efficient student the rest of the week, but I haven't managed to mold myself into that just yet so I go through a lot of self-loathing come the weekends.
My Term 1 is ending very soon, which is a little bit terrifying because we just started lessons like, 5 weeks ago??? Next week is the last and is basically five days of submission datelines for everything. I've got a lot to catch up with. All my sketchbooks to fill up, quite a number of incomplete/undone works/re-doing unsatisfactory pieces, and a ton of reflection-sort writing that goes with all of those. I also need to catch up on sleep but that is something I have learned I must sacrifice these days. I've been running on 2-3 hours of sleep most days. My face is a perpetual e_e Anyway, tomorrow is yet another Friday. Again, it's come way too early. I foresee a long night ahead of me. Time for dinner and a shower and then I must focus.
By the way, I chopped off my hair. No more hair-tying for a while now, but all's good.
